My Profile

@SlowJuan

Tulsa, OK Raving since 2017 50 States hopeful/finisher, Marathon Maniacs #1684 active 1 day, 18 hours ago

About Me

  • Running club(s):

    Marathon Maniacs, 50 States Marathon Club

  • Rave race:

    Bataan Death March Marathon (x2)

  • Race that's calling my name:

    The Loch Ness Marathon

  • I run because:

    “I just felt like runnin’……”

My races

Organize, track & review your races and personal bests here.

50 States Map
image/svg+xml FL TX NM AZ AK CA NV UT CO OR WA ID HI OK MT WY ND SD NE KS MN IA MO AR LA MS AL GA SC IL WI MI IN OH TN KY NC WV VA PA NY ME VT NH RI CT NJ DE MD MA DC

Half Marathon

Marathon

Ultramarathon

(Marathon &/or Ultra) + Half

Marathon + Ultra

Other

Personal Bests (0)

Race Distance Location Date Result

Future Races (3)

Race Distance Location Date Paid
Marathon Coeur d'Alene, ID May 24, 2020
Marathon Falmouth, MA Oct 24, 2020
Marathon Gettysburg, PA 2020

Past Races (46)

Race Distance Location Date Result My Raves My Performance
Marathon Rehoboth Beach, DE Dec 7, 2019
Marathon Newport, RI Oct 13, 2019 6:21:03
Marathon Gilsum, NH Sep 29, 2019 6:26:39
Marathon Charlevoix, MI Jun 22, 2019 6:10:45
Marathon Fargo, ND May 18, 2019 6:11:15
Marathon Louisville, KY Apr 27, 2019 6:08:04
Half Marathon Olathe, KS Apr 13, 2019 2:47:45
Marathon West Haven, CT Mar 23, 2019 6:13:47
Marathon Tulsa, OK Nov 18, 2018 6:56:48
Marathon Indianapolis, IN Nov 3, 2018 6:02:12
Marathon Bar Harbor, ME Oct 14, 2018 6:20:20
Marathon Malvern, IA Sep 8, 2018 6:01:44
Marathon South Williamson, WV Jun 9, 2018 6:41:42
Marathon Nashville, TN Apr 28, 2018 6:31:28
Marathon Ft. Lauderdale, FL Feb 18, 2018 6:14:07
Marathon Charleston, SC Jan 13, 2018 6:04:10
Marathon Tulsa, OK Nov 19, 2017
Marathon Baltimore, MD Oct 21, 2017 6:12:09
Marathon Gresham, OR Sep 17, 2017 6:18:49
Marathon Frenchtown, MT Jul 9, 2017 6:05:00
Marathon Green Bay, WI May 21, 2017 5:58:05
Marathon Olathe, KS Apr 22, 2017
Marathon Virginia Beach, VA Mar 19, 2017
Marathon New Orleans, LA Feb 5, 2017
Marathon Huntsville, AL Dec 10, 2016
Marathon Omaha, NE Sep 18, 2016
Marathon Tacoma, WA May 1, 2016
Marathon White Sands, NM Mar 20, 2016
Marathon Crazy Horse, SD Oct 4, 2015
Marathon Huntington Beach, CA Feb 1, 2015
Marathon Columbus, GA Nov 8, 2014
Marathon Rachel, NV Aug 10, 2014
Marathon Lahaina, HI 2013
Marathon Cincinnati, OH 2013
Marathon Tupelo, MS 2013
Marathon Humble, TX Dec 21, 2012
Marathon Jackson Hole, WY 2012
Marathon Little Rock, AR 2012
Marathon Apache Junction, AZ 2011
Marathon Kitty Hawk, NC 2010
Marathon Fort Collins, CO 2010
Marathon Kansas City, MO 2009 5:16:04
Marathon Staten Island, NY 2003
Marathon St. George, UT 2001
Marathon Arlington, DC 2000
Marathon Chicago, IL 1996

My Raves

Rehoboth Beach Seashore Marathon

Rehoboth Beach Seashore Marathon

There are several great reasons why RaceRaves named Rehoboth Beach as Delaware's Best Marathon in 2018. This hidden gem delivers on all counts. The course begins shoreside at dawn, right … MORE

There are several great reasons why RaceRaves named Rehoboth Beach as Delaware’s Best Marathon in 2018. This hidden gem delivers on all counts. The course begins shoreside at dawn, right on the Rehoboth Boardwalk. At Mile 3, the course enters Cape Henlopen State Park. For the next 13 miles, runners are treated to beautiful vistas of coastal wetlands, salt cedars, sea grass, pine trees and ocean views. Watch for hundreds of “V”s of migrating waterfowl at sunrise. The run on Gordon’s Pond Trail is both scenic and serene, including a 1/2 mile elevated walkway over the dunes and fens beginning at M5. Have your camera ready at M7 for a scenic ocean overlook. An aid station at M10 was dispensing DQ ice cream…..which wasn’t melting in the chilly December morning. Note the abandoned, overgrown munitions bunkers and artillery siting towers between Miles 12 and 13. Mile 19 to the Finish is on the secluded and scenic Breakwater Trail; smooth, level, shaded and very forgiving to late-race fatigued legs.
Rehoboth promises a post-race party and it was still rocking by the time I finally staggered in. Best race food ever: Bacon, biscuits & gravy, hamburgers, bacon, mac & cheese, pulled pork and bacon. (Did I mention bacon?!? I LIKE bacon.) Runners are armed with 3 beer tickets, courtesy of Dogfish Head Brewery. Fueled by the disc jockey and beer tickets, the party tent was jumping. I apparently left everything I had out on the course somewhere, as I was way too weary to shake my groove thang.
I would be remiss if I didn’t offer some post-race microbrew suggestions and Rehoboth, being a resort town, is a target rich environment. Check out Big Oyster, Crooked Hammock, Thompson Island or Iron Hill for great brewpub options. You might just have to schedule a return run-cation to experience everything Rehoboth has to offer.

DIFFICULTY
2
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
5
SWAG
4

2 members marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Amica Newport Marathon (RI)

Amica Newport Marathon (RI)

The first 13.1 miles of the Newport Marathon could well be the most scenic half-marathon you'll run this year. The Start & Finish lines are staged on Easton's Beach, so … MORE

The first 13.1 miles of the Newport Marathon could well be the most scenic half-marathon you’ll run this year. The Start & Finish lines are staged on Easton’s Beach, so runners are treated to a beautiful sunrise over the bay as breakers roll in on the beach. A grateful “shout out” to Kicking Horse Coffee for pouring out hot cups of their “[email protected]$$” java blend to the shivering, huddled masses. This marathon is a hidden gem; well organized, enthusiastic volunteers, spectacular views and clearly the pride of Newport. Mile 2 takes the runners past an expansive yacht basin and sailboat moorings too numerous to count. What then follows is 10 miles of touring “Mansion Row” …..and the name doesn’t do it justice. These are palatial estates, many on the Historic Register, with magnificent homes, manicured grounds and panoramic views of the ocean. Then, as the entire field approaches the Half-Marathon Finish Line
…….everyone goes away. As a marathoner, you get that uneasy feeling they all know something that you don’t. The second half is still scenic, but pales in comparison to the first 13 miles. And there are two beat-you-up-&-take-your-lunch-money hills at Miles 22.5 and 24. (That’s just mean!) But, the Finish Line is glorious and it was ironically appropriate that the ’70s boogie hit “Born to be Alive” was blaring as I shuffled in.
Micro-Brew Review: Lots of great options! Tilted Barn in Exeter, Whalers in Kingston, race sponsor Ragged Island in Portsmouth and Coddington in Newport. But….my two-thumbs-up favorites, and well worth the drive, were Buzzard Bay in Westport, MA and Moby Dick Brewing in New Bedford, MA. You won’t be disappointed.
Cross my heart and call me Ishmael!

DIFFICULTY
3
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
4
SWAG
4

2 members marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Clarence DeMar Marathon & Half Marathon

Clarence DeMar Marathon & Half Marathon

If Autumn colors, sunlight through quiet woods, rocky creeks, showers of gold leaves and acorns like intermittent hail falling in the breeze aren’t your thing, well, ...…then Clarence DeMar might … MORE

If Autumn colors, sunlight through quiet woods, rocky creeks, showers of gold leaves and acorns like intermittent hail falling in the breeze aren’t your thing, well, ……then Clarence DeMar might not be for you. The first 14 miles of this course are spectacularly beautiful, winding down a two-lane mountain road through cathedral Autumn woods. There’s an incredible vista crossing over & back on the Surry Lake dam, past the scenic Bretwood Golf Course, even running over a half mile through the hallowed grounds of a stately, ancient cemetery at Mile 22. My thanks to the young volunteers on the “graveyard shift” who were still at their posts when I came through. Also, thank you to the Aid Station crew at Mile 18 who gave me their very last lemon-filled, jelly doughnut. Best….Doughnut….Ever!
(Couldn’t bring myself to ask for a Molson to go with my jelly doughnut, don’cha know?!? Good day, eh?)
The biggest shout-out goes to the staff and volunteers of the CDM. Incredibly well organized and enthusiastic to the very end, even after seven and a half hours. It’s difficult to describe how uplifting it is to have people cheering you on any time you finish after six hours…….and still have food there! Be kind to your Race Staff. They’ve had a long day, too!
For post-race celebration and pain management, check out the Elm Creek Brewery in Keene. They had an Oktoberfest celebration going on after the Race with a genuine, lederhosen-wearin’, oom-pah band and more than enough beer, brats, kraut and pretzels to reward any weary, ravenous marathoner who had just gone the distance. The Germans know a thing or two about celebrating a job well done!
“Our-feet-our-stained!!!”

DIFFICULTY
3
PRODUCTION
5
SCENERY
5
SWAG
4
My Media

1 member marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Charlevoix Marathon

Charlevoix Marathon

If you favor small-town races with scenic views and enthusiastic volunteers, then Charlevoix should probably be included on your bucket list. The outdoor expo is staged on the green overlooking … MORE

If you favor small-town races with scenic views and enthusiastic volunteers, then Charlevoix should probably be included on your bucket list. The outdoor expo is staged on the green overlooking the port basin, right next to the iconic drawbridge over the channel and adjoining Charlevoix Brewing. The race instructions made several mentions of the drawbridge being raised every half hour and to be SURE to be at the starting line BEFORE 6:30 AM. Prudent advice, as the starting line is on one side of the bridge and the porta-johns on the other. Woe to the runner that opts for a last-minute biological break only to be separated from the starting gun. Kudos to the sweet ladies at Mile 4 that were dispensing bacon from a stainless steel bowl. (Bacon is marathon manna and trumps GU every time!) Nearly 16 miles of the course consists of an out & back trail along Lake Michigan, so there are plenty of scenic views and cool breezes from the lake. At Mile 5, runners will encounter an elevated plank bridge that extends for 0.75 miles over a wetlands area. It’s easy on the eyes and legs going out, but can be a convection oven on the return trip at Mile 21. Several of the aid stations offered large buckets of Twizzlers (“For the team……Go team!”), which is a favorite fuel of the Slow Juan.
After the race, treat yourself to a cold brew-with-a-view on the Charlevoix Brewery patio. If you manage to make your way to Traverse City, be sure to catch a meal at one of its excellent brewpubs; North Peak Brewery in a century-old warehouse downtown or the Jolly Pumpkin Brewery along scenic Peninsula Drive of the Old Mission Peninsula. There are dozens of wineries in the immediate Traverse City area as well. Three that I can personally recommend would be Bonobo, Black Star and Mara, all located on the Old Mission Peninsula.
Charlevoix and Traverse City have exceptional dining and drinking options. And if you can’t enjoy your “race-cation” there, well…….you’re probably doing it wrong!

DIFFICULTY
2
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
4
SWAG
4

1 member marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Fargo Marathon

Fargo Marathon

Fargo is the place to go far! There's a reason why this race consistently gets rave reviews. Maybe it's receiving a race hoodie instead of a T-shirt or the finisher's … MORE

Fargo is the place to go far! There’s a reason why this race consistently gets rave reviews. Maybe it’s receiving a race hoodie instead of a T-shirt or the finisher’s medal that doubles as a trivet. (Yeah….it’s big.) Perhaps it’s the generous 7-hr cut-off time, much appreciated by those of us who are velocity-challenged. Maybe it’s the warm, friendly confines of the Fargodome, protecting runners from the elements both before and after their race or its Expo-in-the-round on the concourse. The 2019 race had rain, 20-25 mph wind and temperatures only reaching a high of 46 degrees (good day, eh?!?), so the Fargodome was a welcomed safe haven. The course is flat and fast, mostly through immaculately tidy neighborhoods. The event is extremely well organized. The marathon, 1/2 marathon and 10K courses intertwine and double-back on each other, so there are occasional stretches where it’s like running through a convoluted M.C. Escher painting; difficult to tell who’s ahead or behind you or even in the same race. The volunteers were amazing; enthusiastically manning their posts, dispensing race fluids and slinging GU in the wind and rain.
Two personal highlights for Slow Juan: The Elvis impersonator at Mile 25.5 encouraging me to finish with his rousing performance of, “It’s Now or Never!” And sharing a post-race debriefing session with Mike Sohaskey (RaceRaves) and his lovely wife Katie at Drekker Brewing over a celebratory Broken Rudder red ale. Be sure to check out Drekker’s “Brew-halla” at 1666 1st Street or catch a post-race beer and a slice of Spicy Pie Pizza at Flatland Brewing. Can’t go wrong either way. So, should you plan on running Fargo next year? Ja, don’t be a hoser, don’cha know. Take off, eh?

DIFFICULTY
1
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
3
SWAG
4

3 members marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Kentucky Derby Festival Marathon & miniMarathon

Kentucky Derby Festival Marathon & miniMarathon

….because that's exactly what Louisville will be talking about! Come prepared to experience the best that "Sweet Lou" has to offer; bourbon, baseball and the Kentucky Derby! First Expo I've … MORE

….because that’s exactly what Louisville will be talking about! Come prepared to experience the best that “Sweet Lou” has to offer; bourbon, baseball and the Kentucky Derby! First Expo I’ve ever attended with a Louisville Slugger mini-bat in my race packet and free bourbon samples on the floor. The Starting Line ceremony begins with the distinctive Derby trumpet clarion call followed by the singing of “My Old Kentucky Home.” (I’m from Oklahoma and it still brought a tear to my eye.) The course travels past the best of the city; the Louisville Slugger Museum, bourbon distilleries, microbreweries, University of Louisville and, of course, the heart-racing entrance to Churchill Downs and circuit around the infield. It’s every bit as cool as you’ve imagined. “I love the smell of manure in the morning!” Some other highlights: Well manned, enthusiastic aid stations. The elderly quartet playing the theme from the “Batman” TV show at Mile 6 …..and playing it well! Bummed a much needed Natty-Lite from a fraternity party at U-LOU. The circuit through Iroquois Park at Miles 12-15 is shaded and beautiful, but to quote Adm. Ackbar, “It’s a trap!” All of the elevation changes for the entire course are concentrated in that 3-mile section. If you’re running a specific race pace, be sure to allow yourself a little “cushion” through Iroquois.
According to the locals, this was the first time in 5 years that there was no rain on race day. 2019 had Chamber of Commerce weather conditions. It actually got a bit warm for those of us back in the caboose section of the field. And all I could come up with to motivate myself for a 6-hour finish was, “They shoot horses, don’t they?”
Microbreweries?!? Yes, indeed. Check out Against the Grain (at the Louisville Bats’ ballfield!), Good Wood Brewing, Bluegrass Brewing, Apocalypse Brewing and the Red Yeti. And, as you might expect, most of them have a bourbon-infused beer!

DIFFICULTY
3
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
4
SWAG
5

2 members marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Garmin Marathon in the Land of Oz

Garmin Marathon in the Land of Oz

Let Glinda's words be an encouragement to you; follow the Yellow Brick Road and run this race! The OZ Garmin is my single favorite "do-it-again" race. The entry fee is … MORE

Let Glinda’s words be an encouragement to you; follow the Yellow Brick Road and run this race! The OZ Garmin is my single favorite “do-it-again” race. The entry fee is a good value. Kansas City is easily accessible with plenty of lodging options. The race shirts are always clever and the medals are consistently some of my very favorites. The course is moderately hilly and challenging, but Spring is in full bloom along the scenic route. And the OZ costuming is not to be missed! Every size, shape, age (and even gender) of Dorothy will be there. Plenty of Wicked Witches in attendance and always good representation by the Scarecrow, Tinman and Lion. The most impressive outfit I’ve seen was a guy with a wrestler’s build decked out in a movie-accurate vest, fez and the full black pinioned wings of a flying monkey! Don’t let anyone tell you that Aeriacharisdnatphobia isn’t real! Seeing this guy took me back to years of cowering behind the sofa when the flying monkeys showed up. (They’re just not natural!) Race Director, Bubba G, consistently raises the bar and delivers the goods on this event.
Consider dropping by the Red Crow Brewery in Olathe for a post-race celebration of your finish. And don’t forget, “It’s not where you go; it’s who you meet along the way.”

DIFFICULTY
4
PRODUCTION
5
SCENERY
4
SWAG
5

1 member marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Savin Rock Marathon & Half Marathon

Savin Rock Marathon & Half Marathon

This is a nice little 2-loop marathon through the town of West Haven, CT. The 2019 edition was characterized by overcast skies, chilly temps and 20+ mph gusts off of … MORE

This is a nice little 2-loop marathon through the town of West Haven, CT. The 2019 edition was characterized by overcast skies, chilly temps and 20+ mph gusts off of Long Island Sound, so some strategic layering was required. Fortunately, you run right past your vehicle as you begin the second half of the marathon and can make a NASCAR-worthy pitstop to change out shoes or clothing. The portions along the Sound were very scenic with a running soundtrack of surf noise and seabird cries. The course segments through town along the shoulder of the road were hilly and a bit more stressful. I retreated to the sidewalks on more than one occasion, just to put a little distance between the traffic and me.
If you’re on a budget and need a CT marathon, this is a good option. I would be remiss without making a microbrew recommendation. CT is thick with breweries, but be sure to check out Two Roads, the largest independent brewery in the state. And I really liked two of the smaller taprooms; Milford Point Brewing and Problem Solved Brewing. You just can’t go wrong with a post-marathon brew at a place called Problem Solved!

DIFFICULTY
4
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
3
SWAG
3

1 member marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Williams Route 66 Marathon & Half Marathon

Williams Route 66 Marathon & Half Marathon

The Williams Route 66 Marathon is my "Home Field" and you'd think after running it 12 times, I'd be tired of it. To quote Lee Corso, "Not so fast, my … MORE

The Williams Route 66 Marathon is my “Home Field” and you’d think after running it 12 times, I’d be tired of it. To quote Lee Corso, “Not so fast, my friend!’ Despite the cold, blustery weather, the 2018 edition went smoothly and a good (but frigid) time was had by all. The “pros” for the race, and there are a lot of them, include; a great Expo, participant jackets, a confetti-cannon start, exceptional finisher’s medals and special recognition medal versions for 1st-Time Marathoners, Maniacs, Fanatics , 50-Staters and the welcome addition of Black Girls Run. Don’t bypass the Center of the Universe detour at Mile-25 (an additional 0.3 miles), even if you do feel like roadkill. You’ll receive a commemorative coin and can boast that you’ve completed the world’s shortest ultra-marathon. (Yes, I realize that’s not really all that impressive……but it just sounds cool.) The Tulsa course reverted back to Riverside Drive in 2018 and now runs right past The Gathering Place, Tulsa’s new $465 million public park. Be sure to allow time after the marathon to limp through this incredible addition to the Tulsa community. And even with the challenging weather, scores of the Tulsa-faithful held yard parties along the course offering a variety of “anti-freeze” options. R66 still has the dubious distinction of offering more alcohol opportunities per mile than any other marathon in the nation. For the “brewies” (and you know who you are), check out; Welltown Brewery, Dead Armadillo Brewing, Cabin Boys Brewing, Prairie Brew Pub or Marshall Brewing. Plenty of après-marathon choices in case you failed to imbibe sufficiently on the course. Run swiftly and stay thirsty, my friends!

DIFFICULTY
4
PRODUCTION
5
SCENERY
4
SWAG
5

3 members marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Indianapolis Monumental Marathon

Indianapolis Monumental Marathon

If you're looking for a flat, fast, BQ-er, then Indy is your race course! But....if you're a grinder like Slow Juan who enjoys friendly people, Autumn colors, beautiful neighborhoods, historical … MORE

If you’re looking for a flat, fast, BQ-er, then Indy is your race course! But….if you’re a grinder like Slow Juan who enjoys friendly people, Autumn colors, beautiful neighborhoods, historical monuments, public gardens and museums, then this just might be your race as well. Monumental is a “biggie,” but a “goodie.” The logistics at the Start this year were even more monumental, as President Trump and VP Pence were staying in the Marriott hotel, not two blocks from the starting line. The excitement, congestion and police support were huuuuuge! The course itself is a pleasant mosaic of monuments, memorials, beautiful homes and the grounds of the Fairbanks Art Nature Park. I particularly appreciated and enjoyed the series of “Burma Shave” styled placards of Indiana trivia that stretched for over a mile beginning around M18. Miles fly when you’re having fun.
For the “brewies” out there; some great choices with Daredevil (near the Speedway), Sun King and Metazoa brewing. Check any or all of ’em all out, but pace yourself.
Final Word: Put the Monumental Marathon on your “to-do” list and don’t forget ……..Hoosier Daddy?!?

DIFFICULTY
1
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
4
SWAG
4

2 members marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Mount Desert Island Marathon

Mount Desert Island Marathon

If this race isn't already on your bucket list, get it on there.....stat! I'd heard that MDI was scenic, but that doesn't do it justice. The course is spectacular; winding … MORE

If this race isn’t already on your bucket list, get it on there…..stat! I’d heard that MDI was scenic, but that doesn’t do it justice. The course is spectacular; winding through wee port towns, skirting Acadia National Park, along beautiful bays with vivid Autumn foliage. If this isn’t the single most beautiful marathon course, start to finish, that you’ve ever run, you just might be…”deaf, dumb and blind, boy, but sure play a mean pinball.” We were fortunate to have “Chamber of Commerce” weather for the 2018 edition; 38 degrees at the Start, full sun, blue skies, light breeze, 52 degrees at the Finish. Along the route, if you’re watching closely, you’ll see deer, wild turkeys, seals and lobster buoys bobbing in the small bays. You’ll hear mournful loons, the wind rushing through the birch trees and bell buoys ringing like church bells from the swell. At the Finish, you’ll receive the coveted “Crusher Claw” medal. Simple and very cool. For the “brewies” out there; be sure to check out Atlantic Brewing Company for a celebratory ale or three. Is this an epic marathon? “You bettah, you bettah, you bet!”

DIFFICULTY
4
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
5
SWAG
4

2 members marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Wabash Trace Nature Marathon, Half Marathon and Relay

Wabash Trace Nature Marathon, Half Marathon and Relay

If you like rural courses, small crowds, local hospitality and peaceful scenery, this is your race. Nearly 22 miles of the race course are on the Wabash Trace trail, a … MORE

If you like rural courses, small crowds, local hospitality and peaceful scenery, this is your race. Nearly 22 miles of the race course are on the Wabash Trace trail, a “Rails to Trails” system that stretches 85 miles across Iowa. You won’t be needing sunscreen as most of the route is one long, straight, flat, green tunnel through a corridor of trees and bordered by rolling cornfields. (Be careful not to step on the black walnuts that litter the path, though!) You will cross over 20 wooden bridges along the way, many of which were originally train trestles. There are porta-Johns along the route, but I took great delight in doing my best James Earl Jones impression by peering into the surrounding cornfields, giggling and then stepping between the stalks and out of sight. For the slower runners (present company included), the race has a hard stop at 6 hours, which is usually about where Slow Juan finishes. At Mile 16, I looked back to see a 4-wheeler with 2 EMTs trailing the final three runners in the field, picking up the Mile signs along the way. I’ve never been the caboose in a race before and found the squee-gee experience of a sweep vehicle a little disconcerting. Just the same, this is a great small-town race and highly recommended for a true Iowa experience. Go the distance.

DIFFICULTY
2
PRODUCTION
2
SCENERY
4
SWAG
2

2 members marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Hatfield McCoy Marathon

Hatfield McCoy Marathon

The most-asked question at this marathon is, "How far can you run carrying a stolen pig?" That's how the feud began and that's how the race begins. "Devil Anse" Hatfield … MORE

The most-asked question at this marathon is, “How far can you run carrying a stolen pig?” That’s how the feud began and that’s how the race begins. “Devil Anse” Hatfield and Ran’l McCoy start this event with a volley of gunfire and the race is on! This particular marathon is a 4H Project; Hills, Heat, Humidity with Hospitality. The local support is frequent and enthusiastic with plenty of ice water, popsicles, watermelon and even pickle juice along the entire course. (I could ‘a used a little of the local moonshine for pain management purposes, though.) There’s a massive hill at Mile 7 and another daunting one strategically situated at Mile 23. Be prepared to put ‘er in “Low” and grind ’em out. You’ll run alongside beautiful creeks through shaded green hollows, see dwarf horses and volunteers dressed as hillbillies. You’ll run past the private cemetery of the McCoy family, the original homestead of Ran’l McCoy and see the actual site of the “Paw-Paw Tree Executions.” It’s a beautiful little glade for such a heinous event. The course crosses the river via an awesome suspension bridge at Mile 18. Probably 50 yards long, 10-foot wide, 35-feet above the water and wood-plank flooring with 2-inch gaps. The women running over the bridge with me were highly agitated by my enthusiastic Short Round impression, “Look lady! Strong bridge!” (And I thought everybody loved Indiana Jones.) “Devil Anse” was at the Finish Line to congratulate the exhausted and over-heated runners. (95 degrees at the Finish.) I gratefully accepted my moonshine-jug-shaped-medal-that-doubles-as-a-beer-opener, a Mason jar to drink said beer and a pulled-pork sandwich. (Ironic and delicious.) For the brewies: Be sure to take a tour of the new Dueling Barrels Distillery & Brewery in Pikeville and enjoy a “Hopfield & McCoy” IPA. Next year is the 20th Anniversary of the H&M Marathon and they’re already making big plans. Check into the new “Tour de Feud” that has been added to the Sunday agenda if you’d like to add a bike tour to your festivities. So, now the question you have to ask yourself; “Is you in or is you ain’t?”

DIFFICULTY
5
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
5
SWAG
4

1 member marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

St. Jude Rock ‘n’ Roll Nashville Marathon & 1/2 Marathon

St. Jude Rock ‘n’ Roll Nashville Marathon & 1/2 Marathon

I can't claim that nobody warned me. It was like being trapped in one of those M. C. Escher paintings where you just keep ascending stairs.....and never come back down! … MORE

I can’t claim that nobody warned me. It was like being trapped in one of those M. C. Escher paintings where you just keep ascending stairs…..and never come back down! But, the scenery, bands, aid stations and crowd support more than offset the elevation fatigue from those hills that just keep rolling into you like waves. Greatly enjoyed running past the honky-tonks on Broadway, down Music Row, around the warning track in the Sounds stadium, through The Gulch and East Nasty, the shaded streets of Shelby Bottoms and the big finish at Nissan Stadium. Most (and best) bands I’ve experienced on a marathon. Shout out to the band at Mile 19.5 that absolutely nailed Talking Heads’ iconic “Burning Down the House.” For the foodies & brewies out there; check out Yazoo or Jackelope or catch a pizza and a peanut butter porter at Tailgate Brewing. (You run right past it…..twice!) Put this marathon on your “to-do” list. Like everything else in Nashville, it’s a party that just keeps on coming.

DIFFICULTY
4
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
4
SWAG
4

1 member marked this review helpful. Agree?

 

Fort Lauderdale A1A Marathon & Half Marathon

Fort Lauderdale A1A Marathon & Half Marathon

The Lauderdale Marathon delivers on all promises. It's flat, fast, scenic and well run. Like any race, the weather is always the wild card. The 2018 edition was one hot, … MORE

The Lauderdale Marathon delivers on all promises. It’s flat, fast, scenic and well run. Like any race, the weather is always the wild card. The 2018 edition was one hot, humid whamma-jamma! 70 degrees at the Start and over 80 at the Finish. Running east towards the sunrise at Mile 3 is spectacular. There’s a scenic circuit through Birch State Park at Mile 5, then back to Hwy A1A. The northernmost turn-around point consists of a circuit through an elegant neighborhood with beautiful, palatial homes at Mile 15-16. Then, due south to the Finish. There was an inflatable Publix “false finish” archway at Mile 26 (that’s just mean!) that caused me to initiate a “false kick” a bit too early. But, a great medal, lots of food choices and cold beer were waiting at the true Finish to ease the agony of da’ feet. For the Foodies and Brewies out there, check out Tucker Duke’s Lunchbox for a great burger and stop by one of the many microbreweries for a cold one; Funky Buddha, Bangin’ Banjo, Invasive Species. Gotta love those names!

DIFFICULTY
1
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
4
SWAG
4

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Charleston Marathon & Half Marathon

Charleston Marathon & Half Marathon

If you like your marathons mixed with a little history, hospitality and Southern cuisine, then you need to do the Charleston. The race starts near The Citadel and wends its … MORE

If you like your marathons mixed with a little history, hospitality and Southern cuisine, then you need to do the Charleston. The race starts near The Citadel and wends its scenic way past views of the channel, marina, mansions, mortars and Battery Park, then straight up King Street past historic row houses, quaint shops, seafood restaurants, bars and grills. The first six miles are very scenic and pass quickly, but the next eight are through an industrial area to get you to North Charleston. The loop through Riverside Park at Mile 24 is beautiful with the live oaks draped in Spanish moss and its views of the bay. Starting at Mile 18, the course actually passes near the Finish Area several times in the final eight miles and you can clearly hear the festivities. (That’s just mean.) But, the shrimp and grits and beer that await you at the Finish Line make it all worthwhile. Nice shirt and beach towel, great medal, fond memories. Be sure to catch the Sunday brunch at Holy City Brewery; chicken & waffles and a beer flight! Y’all should go!

DIFFICULTY
2
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
3
SWAG
4

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Williams Route 66 Marathon & Half Marathon

Williams Route 66 Marathon & Half Marathon

The Williams Route 66 Marathon is a hidden gem. Everything aspect of this race is done right. If you're a Swag-Monkey, what other marathon gives you a race jacket and … MORE

The Williams Route 66 Marathon is a hidden gem. Everything aspect of this race is done right. If you’re a Swag-Monkey, what other marathon gives you a race jacket and a Finisher’s medal that wins awards every year? And Maniacs, Fanatics and 50-Staters all get special edition medals, as do 1st Time Marathon Finishers. The Expo is large, well staged and efficient. The Starting Line will send you off in a cloud of confetti and rock tunes. Don’t forget to take the Center of the Universe detour! It adds 0.3 miles to your marathon at Mile 25, but you receive a commemorative coin and bragging rights for completing the world’s shortest Ultra. Be warned, though: The Tulsa course is beautiful with its autumn color and scenic landmarks, but it is 26 miles of rolling hills that just keep coming. And if you can’t hold your liquor, this might not be the run for you! Be prepared for scores of yard parties along the route and plenty of opportunities to share-a-shot with friendly Okies. (Think of it as “pain management.”) What are you waiting for? Get kicking!

DIFFICULTY
4
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
5
SWAG
5

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Baltimore Running Festival

Baltimore Running Festival

All the rumors were true: It's a hilly, challenging course! But, it's a well-organized, scenic, festive event and one to include on your bucket list. The Marathon Start at Camden … MORE

All the rumors were true: It’s a hilly, challenging course! But, it’s a well-organized, scenic, festive event and one to include on your bucket list. The Marathon Start at Camden Yards had a powerful, respectful presentation of the National Anthem beneath a massive American flag. And, I was impressed by the number of technical wheelchair racers (over 15) and moved by the handicapped children in wheelchairs with handlers (more than 20) at the Start. Great priorities, Baltimore! You KNOW the race shirt is going to be good when Under Armour is a sponsor. And the Baltimore medals are the best. Not a medal that will languish in your sock drawer. So….. quit crabbing about missing out and sign up for next year!

DIFFICULTY
5
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
4
SWAG
5

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Boring Marathon, Half-Boring Half Marathon & Constantly Boring 8K

Boring Marathon, Half-Boring Half Marathon & Constantly Boring 8K

Gotta love a race where one of the sponsors is the Boring Brewery! Nice, well-run marathon with that comfortable, small-town feel. Most of the course is on a rails-to-trails system, … MORE

Gotta love a race where one of the sponsors is the Boring Brewery! Nice, well-run marathon with that comfortable, small-town feel. Most of the course is on a rails-to-trails system, so level, secluded, verdant and quiet. Great aid stations with enthusiastic staffers to help you along. Particularly enjoyed the Luau Station at Mile 16; can personally recommend their rum punch. The Boring race shirt and Boring medal will bring a smile and the swag bag included a Boring Brewery pint glass and goat soap! What’s not to like?!?

DIFFICULTY
3
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
4
SWAG
4

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Missoula Marathon

Missoula Marathon

Well organized and administered event. Staff did a remarkable job of adjusting for unseasonably warm weather. Beautiful, largely rural race course. One difficult hill at Mile 13, but the overlook … MORE

Well organized and administered event. Staff did a remarkable job of adjusting for unseasonably warm weather. Beautiful, largely rural race course. One difficult hill at Mile 13, but the overlook of the Clark Fork River is worth the climb. Loved the lone bagpiper at the crest of the hill. Very nice medal, but a boring shirt. Thank you, Big Sky Brewing, for your sponsorship and the Friday night Beer Run!

DIFFICULTY
3
PRODUCTION
4
SCENERY
5
SWAG
5

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