John Points's Staging Area

Whups, she did it again! Geneva (RD) has delivered yet another epic event. I’m not sure how she’ll ever top the 2024 “dinosaur” theme, as hordes of runners descended on Little Rock dressed in all manner of prehistoric finery; the Flintstones, cavemen (er, sorry, my bad) “people-of-the-cave-persuasion”, inflatable dinosaur suits, triceratops hats, stegosaurus plates, etc. Never seen as much leopard-skin in my entire life! Two of my favorite costumes were at the Mile 11 – Prehistoric Aid Station; a gentleman dressed as Dr. Grant riding an inflatable velociraptor and a lady in a full-body, orange & purple, dilophosaurus outfit. Talk about being committed to the role!
The race staff had prudently moved the start time up to 6:00 AM in anticipation of humid/hot conditions by late morning, but unexpected cloud cover provided for nearly ideal conditions until well after noon. If you haven’t run the LRM, the racecourse takes you past several of Little Rock’s historic landmarks; across the river through North Little Rock, past the Cardinals’ ballpark, the Governor’s mansion, the Capitol, Central High School (a National Historic Site) and the Arkansas School of the Deaf, home of the Leopards! (Best. Mascot. Name. Ever!!!)
Don’t let the flat-Earthers tell you that Little Rock isn’t hilly. You really don’t find level ground until Mile 19 with the dreaded out-and-back leg to Mile 23. And you better be ready to gear down and grind out the hill that starts at the Capitol (Mile 15) and doesn’t peak until Mile 17. It’s like an Escher painting gone bad; it just keeps ascending. The aid station at the crest offered water, Gatorade, and tequila shots. One-stop-shop for hydration and pain management. Definitely made rolling down the backside a lot more enjoyable … and fuzzy.
The Mile 19 station was manned by the LR Parrothead Club, fully decked out in tropical shirts and hats. I must have looked pretty road-weary, as a Jimmy Buffet clone stepped up and asked if I could use a margarita. (Must be some kind of trick question.) I acquiesced and he sent me on my way with a tall, strong, Solo-cup-full of lime-flavored rum. (Just what I needed coming off the tequila shot.) Don’t exactly recall the turn-around point at Mile 21, but someone apparently helped me navigate it and reoriented me back towards the Finish. I passed on the “Lipstick Station” located 100 yards from the Finish Line as I was sure they wouldn’t have anything in their product arsenal that could possibly “save my face” after 26 miles.
The entire day was just an all-round, well organized, festive event. Loved the triceratops-patterned socks I received from Blue Cross & Blue Shield at the Expo. I sprung for a tie-dyed, marathon hoodie in the swag shop featuring a tyrannosaurus. (RAWR!) And the marathon medals were absolutely the best yet; three pounds of dino-goodness! Thank you, Geneva & Co., for throwing the best 8-hour running party in the nation.

“‘Ooh, aah!’ That’s how it always starts. But then later, there’s running and screaming.”
-Dr. Ian Malcolm-

Finishing the Anchorage RunFest – Humpy’s Marathon brings my quest to complete a marathon in every state to a very satisfying conclusion. And if you’re looking for an Alaska marathon, then Humpy’s is the race you want to run! Be sure to let the Race Staff know in advance if Anchorage will be your 50th State and they’ll have a Certification of Completion waiting for you at the Finish. Just a nice, little personal touch that you won’t find elsewhere.
About that, uh … awkward name. Pink salmon, or “humpback” salmon, are commonly called “humpies.” Humpy’s Great Alaskan Alehouse is the marathon’s major sponsor and the Start and Finish location for the event. Even knowing that, expect some strange, concerned expressions when you share with folks, “I ran Humpy’s!”
The staging area on Sunday morning in front of Humpy’s brought several pleasant “amenities.” Kaladi Brothers Coffee was dispensing hot java and Franz Bakeries was dealing fresh grilled cheese sandwiches to the huddled, milling runners. Can’t say I’ve ever experienced those pre-race traditions before, but I think they warrant a petition for adoption at other race venues. Comfort food before a marathon?!? Brilliant!
The course is straight-forward, slightly rolling in elevation, and spectacularly beautiful. The first 15 miles are an out-and-back circuit on the Coastal Trail. The next 10 miles are an out-and-back leg on the Creek Trail, a greenbelt trail system wending its way through Anchorage. Expect to see panoramic views of the Cook Inlet along the Coastal Trail. Both courses traverse long stretches of coastal rainforest with thick stands of birch and spruce, the floor carpeted with devil’s club, verdant ferns and thick moss: Cool, green, dark, shady and quiet. BOLO for moose and bear. I didn’t spot either, but apparently a moose and her calf crossed the path behind me shortly after I passed Mile 7. (Drat! I just moosed ’em!)
There’s one final grinder hill at Mile 25 to get back up to downtown from the trail system, but a nice, open Finish on 6th Street. I quickly found a great Finisher’s medal, my 50-State Completion certificate and even managed to locate the inventory of left-over grilled cheese sandwiches. What’s not to like?!?
If you’re contemplating your own sojourn to run a marathon in every state, I would encourage you to consider the Anchorage RunFest for your “Big Finish.” You won’t be disappointed or regret the decision. And a few last words of encouragement:

“A journey of 1,310 miles begins with a single step.”
– Slow Juan –

“I been thinkin’, you need to mellow slow.
Takes time, you pick a place to go,
. . . . and just keep truckin’ on.”
-The Grateful Dead-

Brew Review:
3 words about the AK microbrew culture: Target. Rich. Environment. 49th State Brewing is the “flagship” brewery in Anchorage and not to be missed. It’s a three-story brewpub built on a hill overlooking the Cook Inlet with a biergarten on the roof. Check out Anchorage Brewing where your group can enjoy a cold beverage seated inside huge foeders that have been converted to private “nooks.” Midnight Sun has outstanding beers and an exceptional kitchen. Watch out for their most-excellent Stout that quietly weighs in with a subtle, numbing 13 ABV. If you venture beyond Anchorage, be sure to catch Denali Brewing in Talkeetna. The town is like a time warp back to the ‘60s where the word “hippie” still stands for something. Seward Brewing overlooks the Kenai Fjords. Girdwood Brewing (in Girdwood) has a great ski lodge vibe. Bearpaw River Brewing in Wasilla and Bleeding Heart Brewing in Palmer are solid choices for a good beer in great Alaska towns. And Odd Man Rush Brewing in Eagle River was a surprise favorite. It has a prevalent hockey theme in its well-appointed beer hall, complete with a retro hockey scoreboard. No penalty for icing here!

If there was ever an appropriate mantra for a marathon, it would be; “….and your shoes get so hot you wish your tired feet were fireproof.“ If you’re planning to run the Atlantic City Marathon, be prepared to burn up the Boardwalk in all its iconic glory as you go the distance! Not only will you run the entire length of the Boardwalk from Mile 8 to Mile 13, but the final three miles are a back-to-the-boards stretch with the Bally’s Casino Finish Line as a shining, beckoning beacon in the distance.
The Race Staff does an exemplary job of defining the race course and keeping runners safe from vacationing motorists. Never have I seen as many traffic cones deployed on a race! On several of the long, flat, straight-a-ways, the orange cones actually recede to a vanishing point on the horizon. Pretty sure we were seeing the curvature of the Earth…..
I would recommend that you not miss seeing “Lucy the Elephant” at Mile 14 (and again at M-21.5), ….. but it’s darn near impossible to miss Lucy; a 6-story, novelty “house” that has been an Atlantic City tourist icon for over a century. It’s definitely an impressive and colorful edifice, although the window situated under Lucy’s tail borders on disturbing.
The aforementioned Finish is “complicated” by the Sunday afternoon tourists that have now populated the Boardwalk and are wandering aimlessly across your path. Imagine a real-life game of “Frogger,” only instead of vehicles, you have to avoid colliding with a wide variety of bikes, dogs, strollers, vendors, rickshaws, trolleys and large, distracted gawkers. It’s intense!
Kudos to the Race Staff on the design of the participant jacket and the Finishers’ medal. I’ve never received a medal before that had an actual operating lighthouse on it. Brilliant!
But, do you want to know the real highlight of finishing a marathon on the Boardwalk?!?
“….you can almost taste the hot dogs and French fries they sell!”

If you’ve run Grandma’s before, then you know all the stories are true. This is a bucket-list experience that does not disappoint. Run almost entirely along the North Shore of Lake Superior, the event is incredibly beautiful, deceptively challenging and expertly staged. Weather is always a factor, as Mother Superior is creative and capricious in what she delivers off of the Lake. The 2021 Edition was characterized by what the locals hailed as, “…the best weather in a decade.” Clear and 60 Degrees at the Start, but a cool front moved through within the hour, providing cloud cover, a dramatic sky, and capping the temps in the high 50s. The view on the left side of the course, out over the Lake, was every shade of intermingled blue and gray imaginable. Both sides of the course are lined with a profusion of spruce, pine, birch and spectacular purple lupine wildflowers. Just about as scenic as any racecourse could ever aspire to be.
A few shout-outs of appreciation to folks along the course:
* The band comprised of 3 fiddles, a bass, a guitar and drum at Mile 3 playing folk music, reminiscent of “O, Brother, Where Art Thou?”
(Wanted to stay and listen, but had to R-U-N-N-O-F-T.)
* Grandmaster DJ Kelly, who kept the hits coming along the course from her wheelchair, pushed by a strong and faithful friend. Kelly was spinning Queen, Bowie, Billy Joel and even got the “Led” out. Nothing quite like hearing “Kashmir” as you’re grinding the grade at Grandma’s.
* The lady who gave me a cake donut and a cup of pickle juice at the same aid station. Must be a Minnesota thing…..
* My new favorite bartender, Kyle, who provided me with a very large, very strong, exceptionally good, Bloody Mary at Mile 20, complete w/ a beef jerky swizzle stick. I gladly accepted, as I was receptive to any pain management options at that stage of the race. Don’t remember a lot between Miles 20 and 22, but I may have hit a tree…….
* The gentleman who provided me with a chili dog at Mile 23. It was awesome! Probably should have had that before the Bloody Mary.
* The sweet, kind lady at the Finish Line who insisted I take a foil warming blanket because, “….you Oklahoma boys aren’t used to our Minnesota weather.”
I wonder, could that have been ………. Grandma?!?

Micro-Brew Review: I highly recommend the south-side vibe at “Bent Paddle Brewing” and “Ursa Minor Brewing.” “Canal Park Brewing” is a bit more upscale and located down in the wharf district. And “Earth Rider” and “Thirsty Pagan” (located in a renovated train station) are worth the drive across the bridge and over to Superior, WI to hoist a pint.

Before I even mention the race course, I want to extend my kudos, congratulations and appreciation to the CDA Race Director and Staff for the incredible effort they invested to make this event happen. Life-During-COVID has been a miserable experience for the racing community, taking away our challenges and camaraderie. The CDA was the first “live” major running event on the calendar since March and they had to go to incredible lengths to administer the slate of races safely and efficiently. I can tell you; it had to be a long weekend of long days for the Staff and volunteers. I wish I could adequately convey my appreciation for their efforts and enthusiasm.
The race course? It’s just as beautiful as billed. It’s essentially an 8-mile out & back course along the private portions of the lake shore followed by a 5-mile out & back along the public portions of the lake in the opposite direction. Over 20 miles of the course are along the shoreline with unobstructed views of the lake, surrounding mountains, public beaches, private docks and beautiful homes. Don’t be lulled into thinking it’s a flat course, though. There’s a brutal climb at Mile 5, which then “backs over” you on the return trip at Mile 10. There are also sneaky elevation grades leading up to both of the turn-around points at Mile 8 and Mile 21. (That’s just mean.)
Favorite images from the race: The pervasive smell of pine, greeting runners as they pass, the Coeur D’Alene Golf Resort, seeing (and smelling) hops growing along the way, the pumpkin patch at the water treatment plant, potato chips at the aid stations (this IS Idaho), the incredible boats and the families enjoying the beaches.
The Pacific Northwest is a target-rich environment for coffee, cannabis and microbrews. (They DO like their stimulants up there!) As a beer-aficionado only, I’d recommend you check out these breweries in CDA: Daft Badger, Jeremiah Johnson, Mad Bomber, Trickster and Trails End Brewing. Gotta love those names.
Tell your brethren and sole-sisters! The CDA Marathon is a hidden treasure with a challenging course administered by an exceptional RD and Staff. Couch potatoes need not apply!

The first 13.1 miles of the Newport Marathon could well be the most scenic half-marathon you’ll run this year. The Start & Finish lines are staged on Easton’s Beach, so runners are treated to a beautiful sunrise over the bay as breakers roll in on the beach. A grateful “shout out” to Kicking Horse Coffee for pouring out hot cups of their “Kick@$$” java blend to the shivering, huddled masses. This marathon is a hidden gem; well organized, enthusiastic volunteers, spectacular views and clearly the pride of Newport. Mile 2 takes the runners past an expansive yacht basin and sailboat moorings too numerous to count. What then follows is 10 miles of touring “Mansion Row” …..and the name doesn’t do it justice. These are palatial estates, many on the Historic Register, with magnificent homes, manicured grounds and panoramic views of the ocean. Then, as the entire field approaches the Half-Marathon Finish Line
…….everyone goes away. As a marathoner, you get that uneasy feeling they all know something that you don’t. The second half is still scenic, but pales in comparison to the first 13 miles. And there are two beat-you-up-&-take-your-lunch-money hills at Miles 22.5 and 24. (That’s just mean!) But, the Finish Line is glorious and it was ironically appropriate that the ’70s boogie hit “Born to be Alive” was blaring as I shuffled in.
Micro-Brew Review: Lots of great options! Tilted Barn in Exeter, Whalers in Kingston, race sponsor Ragged Island in Portsmouth and Coddington in Newport. But….my two-thumbs-up favorites, and well worth the drive, were Buzzard Bay in Westport, MA and Moby Dick Brewing in New Bedford, MA. You won’t be disappointed.
Cross my heart and call me Ishmael!

If you favor small-town races with scenic views and enthusiastic volunteers, then Charlevoix should probably be included on your bucket list. The outdoor expo is staged on the green overlooking the port basin, right next to the iconic drawbridge over the channel and adjoining Charlevoix Brewing. The race instructions made several mentions of the drawbridge being raised every half hour and to be SURE to be at the starting line BEFORE 6:30 AM. Prudent advice, as the starting line is on one side of the bridge and the porta-johns on the other. Woe to the runner that opts for a last-minute biological break only to be separated from the starting gun. Kudos to the sweet ladies at Mile 4 that were dispensing bacon from a stainless steel bowl. (Bacon is marathon manna and trumps GU every time!) Nearly 16 miles of the course consists of an out & back trail along Lake Michigan, so there are plenty of scenic views and cool breezes from the lake. At Mile 5, runners will encounter an elevated plank bridge that extends for 0.75 miles over a wetlands area. It’s easy on the eyes and legs going out, but can be a convection oven on the return trip at Mile 21. Several of the aid stations offered large buckets of Twizzlers (“For the team……Go team!”), which is a favorite fuel of the Slow Juan.
After the race, treat yourself to a cold brew-with-a-view on the Charlevoix Brewery patio. If you manage to make your way to Traverse City, be sure to catch a meal at one of its excellent brewpubs; North Peak Brewery in a century-old warehouse downtown or the Jolly Pumpkin Brewery along scenic Peninsula Drive of the Old Mission Peninsula. There are dozens of wineries in the immediate Traverse City area as well. Three that I can personally recommend would be Bonobo, Black Star and Mara, all located on the Old Mission Peninsula.
Charlevoix and Traverse City have exceptional dining and drinking options. And if you can’t enjoy your “race-cation” there, well…….you’re probably doing it wrong!

….because that’s exactly what Louisville will be talking about! Come prepared to experience the best that “Sweet Lou” has to offer; bourbon, baseball and the Kentucky Derby! First Expo I’ve ever attended with a Louisville Slugger mini-bat in my race packet and free bourbon samples on the floor. The Starting Line ceremony begins with the distinctive Derby trumpet clarion call followed by the singing of “My Old Kentucky Home.” (I’m from Oklahoma and it still brought a tear to my eye.) The course travels past the best of the city; the Louisville Slugger Museum, bourbon distilleries, microbreweries, University of Louisville and, of course, the heart-racing entrance to Churchill Downs and circuit around the infield. It’s every bit as cool as you’ve imagined. “I love the smell of manure in the morning!” Some other highlights: Well manned, enthusiastic aid stations. The elderly quartet playing the theme from the “Batman” TV show at Mile 6 …..and playing it well! Bummed a much needed Natty-Lite from a fraternity party at U-LOU. The circuit through Iroquois Park at Miles 12-15 is shaded and beautiful, but to quote Adm. Ackbar, “It’s a trap!” All of the elevation changes for the entire course are concentrated in that 3-mile section. If you’re running a specific race pace, be sure to allow yourself a little “cushion” through Iroquois.
According to the locals, this was the first time in 5 years that there was no rain on race day. 2019 had Chamber of Commerce weather conditions. It actually got a bit warm for those of us back in the caboose section of the field. And all I could come up with to motivate myself for a 6-hour finish was, “They shoot horses, don’t they?”
Microbreweries?!? Yes, indeed. Check out Against the Grain (at the Louisville Bats’ ballfield!), Good Wood Brewing, Bluegrass Brewing, Apocalypse Brewing and the Red Yeti. And, as you might expect, most of them have a bourbon-infused beer!

This is a nice little 2-loop marathon through the town of West Haven, CT. The 2019 edition was characterized by overcast skies, chilly temps and 20+ mph gusts off of Long Island Sound, so some strategic layering was required. Fortunately, you run right past your vehicle as you begin the second half of the marathon and can make a NASCAR-worthy pitstop to change out shoes or clothing. The portions along the Sound were very scenic with a running soundtrack of surf noise and seabird cries. The course segments through town along the shoulder of the road were hilly and a bit more stressful. I retreated to the sidewalks on more than one occasion, just to put a little distance between the traffic and me.
If you’re on a budget and need a CT marathon, this is a good option. I would be remiss without making a microbrew recommendation. CT is thick with breweries, but be sure to check out Two Roads, the largest independent brewery in the state. And I really liked two of the smaller taprooms; Milford Point Brewing and Problem Solved Brewing. You just can’t go wrong with a post-marathon brew at a place called Problem Solved!

If you’re looking for a flat, fast, BQ-er, then Indy is your race course! But….if you’re a grinder like Slow Juan who enjoys friendly people, Autumn colors, beautiful neighborhoods, historical monuments, public gardens and museums, then this just might be your race as well. Monumental is a “biggie,” but a “goodie.” The logistics at the Start this year were even more monumental, as President Trump and VP Pence were staying in the Marriott hotel, not two blocks from the starting line. The excitement, congestion and police support were huuuuuge! The course itself is a pleasant mosaic of monuments, memorials, beautiful homes and the grounds of the Fairbanks Art Nature Park. I particularly appreciated and enjoyed the series of “Burma Shave” styled placards of Indiana trivia that stretched for over a mile beginning around M18. Miles fly when you’re having fun.
For the “brewies” out there; some great choices with Daredevil (near the Speedway), Sun King and Metazoa brewing. Check any or all of ’em all out, but pace yourself.
Final Word: Put the Monumental Marathon on your “to-do” list and don’t forget ……..Hoosier Daddy?!?

If you like rural courses, small crowds, local hospitality and peaceful scenery, this is your race. Nearly 22 miles of the race course are on the Wabash Trace trail, a “Rails to Trails” system that stretches 85 miles across Iowa. You won’t be needing sunscreen as most of the route is one long, straight, flat, green tunnel through a corridor of trees and bordered by rolling cornfields. (Be careful not to step on the black walnuts that litter the path, though!) You will cross over 20 wooden bridges along the way, many of which were originally train trestles. There are porta-Johns along the route, but I took great delight in doing my best James Earl Jones impression by peering into the surrounding cornfields, giggling and then stepping between the stalks and out of sight. For the slower runners (present company included), the race has a hard stop at 6 hours, which is usually about where Slow Juan finishes. At Mile 16, I looked back to see a 4-wheeler with 2 EMTs trailing the final three runners in the field, picking up the Mile signs along the way. I’ve never been the caboose in a race before and found the squee-gee experience of a sweep vehicle a little disconcerting. Just the same, this is a great small-town race and highly recommended for a true Iowa experience. Go the distance.

I can’t claim that nobody warned me. It was like being trapped in one of those M. C. Escher paintings where you just keep ascending stairs…..and never come back down! But, the scenery, bands, aid stations and crowd support more than offset the elevation fatigue from those hills that just keep rolling into you like waves. Greatly enjoyed running past the honky-tonks on Broadway, down Music Row, around the warning track in the Sounds stadium, through The Gulch and East Nasty, the shaded streets of Shelby Bottoms and the big finish at Nissan Stadium. Most (and best) bands I’ve experienced on a marathon. Shout out to the band at Mile 19.5 that absolutely nailed Talking Heads’ iconic “Burning Down the House.” For the foodies & brewies out there; check out Yazoo or Jackelope or catch a pizza and a peanut butter porter at Tailgate Brewing. (You run right past it…..twice!) Put this marathon on your “to-do” list. Like everything else in Nashville, it’s a party that just keeps on coming.

If you like your marathons mixed with a little history, hospitality and Southern cuisine, then you need to do the Charleston. The race starts near The Citadel and wends its scenic way past views of the channel, marina, mansions, mortars and Battery Park, then straight up King Street past historic row houses, quaint shops, seafood restaurants, bars and grills. The first six miles are very scenic and pass quickly, but the next eight are through an industrial area to get you to North Charleston. The loop through Riverside Park at Mile 24 is beautiful with the live oaks draped in Spanish moss and its views of the bay. Starting at Mile 18, the course actually passes near the Finish Area several times in the final eight miles and you can clearly hear the festivities. (That’s just mean.) But, the shrimp and grits and beer that await you at the Finish Line make it all worthwhile. Nice shirt and beach towel, great medal, fond memories. Be sure to catch the Sunday brunch at Holy City Brewery; chicken & waffles and a beer flight! Y’all should go!

All the rumors were true: It’s a hilly, challenging course! But, it’s a well-organized, scenic, festive event and one to include on your bucket list. The Marathon Start at Camden Yards had a powerful, respectful presentation of the National Anthem beneath a massive American flag. And, I was impressed by the number of technical wheelchair racers (over 15) and moved by the handicapped children in wheelchairs with handlers (more than 20) at the Start. Great priorities, Baltimore! You KNOW the race shirt is going to be good when Under Armour is a sponsor. And the Baltimore medals are the best. Not a medal that will languish in your sock drawer. So….. quit crabbing about missing out and sign up for next year!

Well organized and administered event. Staff did a remarkable job of adjusting for unseasonably warm weather. Beautiful, largely rural race course. One difficult hill at Mile 13, but the overlook of the Clark Fork River is worth the climb. Loved the lone bagpiper at the crest of the hill. Very nice medal, but a boring shirt. Thank you, Big Sky Brewing, for your sponsorship and the Friday night Beer Run!