Sometimes, there are several words in a phrase that just seem to contradict each other; there is no WAY they should be anywhere NEAR each other. The more learned members of our society call them “oxymorons” which is NOT an especially large person being crossbred with an especially dumb member of the opposite sex. Nor should it to be confused with OxiClean or OxyContin, neither of which should be swallowed on a regular basis. The most historic oxymoron in modern history is the phrase “military intelligence”. For those who served in the armed services, we can tell you that putting these two words together is a GRAVE disservice to we who blindly followed orders given by idiots every single day that we served. And what about a “football hero”. These folks get paid mega-millions a year to do to their fellow man “acts” that, if done anywhere outside of an arena, would be called “assault” and earn you 3-5 yrs (or maybe 2.5 yrs. with good behavior). There’s nothing “heroic” about beating someone else up because you are bigger than them while getting paid outrageous sums to do so; when it’s done for free as a kid, it’s called “bullying”, when the mob does it, they call it a “hit”. Or how about anyone named “Kardashian” showing up in the same sentence as the term “talent agency” Or Penn DOT’s signs at construction sites that say “temporary inconvenience” when the horrendous traffic delays they cause often last 2-4 years. ‘’Jumbo Shrimp”, “Old News”, “Civil War”, “Vegan Bacon”; the list goes on and on. Fortunately, the “Double Trouble” in no oxymoron. It is a 9 Mile loop that has LOTS of trouble in it; loads of rocks, downed trees, roots, ruts and everything else a technical trail run is supposed to have. Do it twice and you DOUBLE the Trouble; do it only once and it is, at best, an exaggeration in name! Its redesign a few years ago wiped out the 3 worst hills on the loop, made it more “flat”/less technical and now allows us to change the direction in which one runs its main loop from year to year. The 18 milers do 2 loops of the 9 mile course. There are awards for EACH distance. Yet EVERYONE gets counted in the 9 Miler and is eligible for awards for that distance (to allow all to be scored in the USA T & F series). However, for those that can start a 2nd loop in under 2 hrs, 5 min; you may go on and do the 18 miler and win an award in THAT race too. NEW THIS YEAR: FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, WE WILL RUN THE MAIN LOOP OF THE COURSE IN A COUNTERCLOCKWISE. Will it run harder or easier? Who knows?! Not our problem!! LEGAL B.S: YOU RACE AT YOUR OWN RISK /ARE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR WELFARE WHILE HERE! Some of the loop is accessible only by foot so, if you DO start gushing massive amounts of blood, crawl to where we have staff IN CARS! And if you get lost and end up in Pottstown, it’s YOUR job to get back to your car. 3 water stops per loop but you may wish to carry more H2O if you sweat like a major college football coach after a 2 & 5 start.
WHAT YOU GET: Shirt without 47 sponsors on the back, modern johns that will smell OK for the first 5 minutes, cold & possibly hot post-race grub, instant results, results on pretzelcitysports.com the next business day, WELL marked course if no one screws with it, tons of parking, 3 water stops per loop (some with munchies; may still wish to carry water if super-hot), EMS on site, hose or hand-made shower at finish, course that is accessible at several spots in mid-race by car or bike, Playground, fishing, canoeing, grills/tables, frisbee golf near start; pool in park, race fee does NOT include pool admission.
IMPORTANT NOTE #1: Since the 9 miler is a point scoring race for the USA T & F off road series, ALL runners will go thru the 9M chute & be counted in the 9M results. Those that cross the 9M finish by the cut-off time and wish to go on for the 18 miler will have a new tear-off tag filled out for them when they finish the 18 Miler. You MAY win an award in both the 9M and the 18M; you’ll just probably miss the 9M award ceremony.
IMPORTANT NOTE #2: To START a 2nd lap, you must do so by 2 hrs., 5 minutes, if not, you will be counted in the 9 Miler. Also, our EMS will make a “spot check” of everyone that aspires to do a 2nd lap. If she or he says that you’re “cooked”, your racing for the day is OVER; NO DEBATES!
IMPORTANT NOTE #3: If, in the opinion of the race director, the heat index is SO high that holding the 18 miler puts people at risk that day, that distance for THIS YEAR ONLY may be eliminated. Should this happen, someone will follow the last runner in the 9 miler, removing the course markings; thus, runners doing another lap do so at their own risk and with no support or direction from us. Trust us, this decision will ONLY be made in extreme heat/humidity. But we have to protect the future of racing in French Creek and “killing runners via heat strokes ” makes us look REALLY bad! Killing them in GOOD weather is a WHOLE other thing!
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